What a glorious month this is. It truly is a great time to reconnect, to remember, to reinvent who we are and what our lives will be. October is just packed with these beautiful times to remember what life is all about and to keep our loved ones so close.
A flag flew over the Capital building in Washington D.C. today in honor of Proclamation 5890, signed on October 25, 1988 by Ronald Regan declaring October to be National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. That very flag, symbolic of so many different things, is going to be sent to the M.O.M. Center, and you can learn more about that at www.stillbirthday.com. It's an incredible gift for them to receive that flag and all the honor and symbolism that comes along with it.
I've been a little quieter than I would like these last few days. It's a time to calculate the Next Big Move...what will it be? How will I make it happen? Who will come along this journey with me? Let me share what is on my heart.
Families facing difficult diagnoses are excluded from so many things. They don't get to experience a lot of the excitement of pregnancy, in some cases. Ultrasounds may be wrought with anxiety instead of joy. There may not be a baby shower or a baby registry. They may have to tell friends and family that there won't be a baby to come visit in the days and weeks after the birth. And leading up to the birth, they may skip childbirth education classes, even though they will be giving birth.
Skipping those classes means skipping a lot of other things.
You skip the opportunity to learn about the anatomy and physiology of birth. You skip the opportunity to learn about informed consent. You skip the opportunity to learn about alternative pain management options, which could lead to you being more alert and better able to engage with your baby after their birth. You skip the opportunity to include family and friends in the process of learning about how to support you during this time where there will be many physical and emotional changes. You need their love and support and this is a great way to include them and encourage them to serve you. You may skip planning for after birth, things like meal trains and properly caring for your body by providing it rest. And all of these things may be skipped because you might not feel entitled to childbirth education classes because you may not be bringing a baby home with you.
I want to create a place where families can know they will be honored in their own way. I want to offer classes tailored to families giving birth in any trimester. Families who are faced with a difficult diagnosis and want to prepare for the birth experience. I want families to know their options.
I can do a lot of that as a doula. Much of that is part of what my day-to-day work looks and feels like, but there is something to be said about coming into the space between the diagnosis and the birth to walk with families and explore their options in a way that isn't as their birth companion. As much as I hate to admit it, not every family wants a doula at their birth. Not every family feels there is room for one. They shouldn't suffer from lack of childbirth education because they don't need a doula in the room.
So here is the plan. I have secured a partial scholarship to complete the childbirth education training program that will give me the skills and resources to write a childbirth education curriculum tailored to the unique needs of the family carrying a pregnancy to term despite a difficult diagnosis. Those classes can even be further customized to reflect details about specific conditions believed to impact the baby. Because my doula clients will never receive a bill for my services, I foot the bill for all of the expenses related to my doula work. The same rules will apply to childbirth education clients. I can't charge families for letting me into their sacred space. Because of that, I have decided to take my chances with a fundraiser to see if I can raise the remaining $500 by December 1.
If you are interested in supporting this fundraiser, please check it out here. Please, please, please consider sharing it. Please consider praying for me, for this fundraiser, for the work ahead. It won't be easy but it is so, so worth it. I can't do this on my own and I am so thankful to have you by my side.
Thank you. A million times over, thank you.
A flag flew over the Capital building in Washington D.C. today in honor of Proclamation 5890, signed on October 25, 1988 by Ronald Regan declaring October to be National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. That very flag, symbolic of so many different things, is going to be sent to the M.O.M. Center, and you can learn more about that at www.stillbirthday.com. It's an incredible gift for them to receive that flag and all the honor and symbolism that comes along with it.
I've been a little quieter than I would like these last few days. It's a time to calculate the Next Big Move...what will it be? How will I make it happen? Who will come along this journey with me? Let me share what is on my heart.
Families facing difficult diagnoses are excluded from so many things. They don't get to experience a lot of the excitement of pregnancy, in some cases. Ultrasounds may be wrought with anxiety instead of joy. There may not be a baby shower or a baby registry. They may have to tell friends and family that there won't be a baby to come visit in the days and weeks after the birth. And leading up to the birth, they may skip childbirth education classes, even though they will be giving birth.
Skipping those classes means skipping a lot of other things.
You skip the opportunity to learn about the anatomy and physiology of birth. You skip the opportunity to learn about informed consent. You skip the opportunity to learn about alternative pain management options, which could lead to you being more alert and better able to engage with your baby after their birth. You skip the opportunity to include family and friends in the process of learning about how to support you during this time where there will be many physical and emotional changes. You need their love and support and this is a great way to include them and encourage them to serve you. You may skip planning for after birth, things like meal trains and properly caring for your body by providing it rest. And all of these things may be skipped because you might not feel entitled to childbirth education classes because you may not be bringing a baby home with you.
I want to create a place where families can know they will be honored in their own way. I want to offer classes tailored to families giving birth in any trimester. Families who are faced with a difficult diagnosis and want to prepare for the birth experience. I want families to know their options.
I can do a lot of that as a doula. Much of that is part of what my day-to-day work looks and feels like, but there is something to be said about coming into the space between the diagnosis and the birth to walk with families and explore their options in a way that isn't as their birth companion. As much as I hate to admit it, not every family wants a doula at their birth. Not every family feels there is room for one. They shouldn't suffer from lack of childbirth education because they don't need a doula in the room.
So here is the plan. I have secured a partial scholarship to complete the childbirth education training program that will give me the skills and resources to write a childbirth education curriculum tailored to the unique needs of the family carrying a pregnancy to term despite a difficult diagnosis. Those classes can even be further customized to reflect details about specific conditions believed to impact the baby. Because my doula clients will never receive a bill for my services, I foot the bill for all of the expenses related to my doula work. The same rules will apply to childbirth education clients. I can't charge families for letting me into their sacred space. Because of that, I have decided to take my chances with a fundraiser to see if I can raise the remaining $500 by December 1.
If you are interested in supporting this fundraiser, please check it out here. Please, please, please consider sharing it. Please consider praying for me, for this fundraiser, for the work ahead. It won't be easy but it is so, so worth it. I can't do this on my own and I am so thankful to have you by my side.
Thank you. A million times over, thank you.